Jealousy

Understanding Jealousy 

Occasional jealousy is natural and can help keep a relationship alive, but if it becomes intense and irrational it can be very destructive. We 've all experienced jealousy at some time in our lives, although the reasons why each of up gets jealous and the emotions we feel may differ. According to clinical psychologist Ayala Malach Pines, "jealousy is a complex reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship or to its quality ". Unlike envy, it always involves a fear of loss and three people. 

Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wife range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors. 

*Emotions -pain, anger, rage, sadness, envy, fear, grief, humiliation. 


*Thoughts- resentment, blame, comparison with the rival, worry about image, self-pity. 


* Behaviors- feeling faint, trembling and sweating, constant questioning and seeking  reassurance, aggressive actions, even violence. 

In relationships where feelings of jealousy are mile and occasional, it reminds the couple not to take each other for granted. It can encourage couples to appreciate each other and make a conscious effort to make sure the other person feels valued. 

Jealousy heighten emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. But when it 's intense or irrational, the story is very different. 


Sometimes jealous feelings can get out me proportion. For example, when a man makes am embarrassing scene at a party because his wife accepts am invitation to dance with and old friend, or when a woman is overwhelmed with jealousy because if husband 's company appoints a female boss. 


There kinds of reaction can put a huge stain on a relationship, leaving the other partner feeling as though they 're constantly waking on egg shells to avoid a jealous reaction. The jealous partner, often aware of their problem, swings between self-blame and justification. Overcoming jealousy takes patience and hard work. If you feel your jealousy stems from issues in childhood, you may find counselling useful. If your 're recovering from an affair, you 'll need to deal with those issues first. 

Here are some things you can do for yourself

*Give yourself a reality check - take a good look at those things that trigger your jealousy and ask yourself how realistic the threat is. 

*What evidence do you have that your relationship is in danger? And is your behaviour actually making the situation worse?,

*Use positive self - talk when you start feeling that your partner loves you. Tell yourself you 're a loueable person and that nothing 's going on.

*Seek reassurance - one of the best ways to beat jealousy is to ask your partner for reassurance. Make sure you don 't nag or bully, but rather share your insecurities and ask them to help you overcome the problem